Prayer: Father, I surrender...

Father God,

I come before You with a heart that feels exhausted, overwhelmed, and heavy. God, it feels like depression is swallowing me whole, like the darkness is getting louder than the hope I am trying so hard to hold onto. You see the battles I do not have the words to explain. You see the tears I wipe away, the moments I feel numb, the thoughts that tell me I am too tired to keep going. You see every part of me, even the parts I feel ashamed of, and You do not turn away.

God, remind me that my feelings are real, but they are not the final truth. Depression may feel like a wave crashing over me, but You are the One who holds me when I cannot hold myself. When my mind tells me I am alone, remind me that Your presence has never left me. When my heart feels broken beyond repair, remind me that You are close to the brokenhearted and that You are still working in places I cannot see.

Father, I am tired of fighting battles that nobody else knows I am fighting. I am tired of pretending I am okay when I feel like I am falling apart inside. Please meet me in this moment. Give me strength for today, not just for tomorrow. Give me the courage to take the next breath, the next step, the next small moment. Help me stop measuring my worth by how productive I am, how strong I appear, or how well I can hide my pain. Remind me that I am Your beloved child before I am anything else.

An Unexpected Bloom

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;
Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 (NKJV)

There’s a small orchid plant sitting snug in its base by our kitchen sink. My husband keeps pointing out the slow progress it’s made over these winter weeks. What started as five green buds tightly shut has transformed slowly, opening into a beautiful arrangement of white flowers with delicate pink centers.

I’ve watched this growth while struggling with crippling anxiety, battling against my mind as I grip tight to the Truth of God’s Word. These petals blossoming in the bleak winter remind me that like these little buds, I, too, am coming into something good.

When it comes to healing, it is often slow, even imperceptible. Yet we can watch and wait and notice the small changes.

In my healing journey, I’ve noticed a few things:

1. Healing takes time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 says: “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; …”

Like the orchid coming into bloom, God often accomplishes His work on an organic, day-by-day timeline. Many times, we don’t even notice the changes until we observe that something is different - we have a little more energy, our thoughts seem a bit clearer, or we’re able to get more good work done without feeling overwhelmed.

2. Healing is not linear.

Psalm 147:3 tells us God “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. He will bring healing one way or another, but it is not always a continual upward trajectory. Decline and ascent, doubt and belief, worry and wisdom - duality weaves within the waiting, the living. If you feel down one day, this doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made.

3. Healing happens in ways we may not be expecting.

Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us our ways and God’s ways are not the same. Look at where God has brought you, look at His presence and hand in your life, and lean into it. Healing is happening, though the way it looks may surprise you.

Whatever your journey, here’s the core of it: Healing points to the Healer. Ultimately this is where our hearts land if we search for Him in the suffering and seek to dig to its root. God is our anchor, our sunlight, our reminder of what - or who - matters.

No matter what healing looks like, God is in the middle of it all.

Father, I am tired of this healing journey. Sometimes it feels like I’m not making any progress. Remind me that You are the Healer who brings growth and recovery in unexpected ways and that this is a process, not a one-time event. I’m trusting You for my healing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

- Sarah Freymuth
Provided by "Proverbs 31 Ministries"

What No One Tells You About Healing

There’s a kind of silence no one talks about, the kind that comes after your mind breaks.

Not the peace of solitude. Not the hush of a quiet moment with God. But the silence that follows a collapse. The kind that changes how you think, feel, breathe.

I think about her sometimes. The girl I was before it happened. Before the anxiety unspooled like thread from my thoughts. Before the panic. Before the cracks in my memory. Before the grief rewired everything.

She knew how to tuck trauma away. As if it wasn’t waiting in the dark corners, growing and building, hiding just out of sight until one day it became too big to be contained and spilled out. And when it did, it broke everything.

People talk about healing like it’s a destination. Like if you do the right things and believe the right way, you’ll arrive at wholeness and move on.

But what no one tells you, not really, is that once your mind has shattered under the weight of it all, you don’t go back. You don’t return to the person you were before. And that’s a quiet kind of grief no one prepares you for.

There’s a version of me I sometimes miss. She was softer, more trusting, unaware of what the breaking would feel like. She could breathe without reminding herself to. She didn’t flinch at joy.

But I can’t go back for her. And maybe that’s okay.

Trusting God When You Are Tired Of Trying

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

Jeremiah 31:3

That morning, I picked up my phone off the nightstand with dread. Anxiety filled me at what I knew I would find there - other people enjoying their lives while I cried about mine.

Lord, am I going to feel like this forever?

I made a mental list of what I felt like I could no longer handle: battling relentlessly with my mental health, juggling two kids under 5, my husband’s unforeseen job loss, the sudden passing of my father-in-law, and ongoing financial pressures - just to name a few things.

There was no relief in sight, and it was hard not to feel frustrated, fed up, and forgotten by God. My soul was exhausted, and I was tired of trying. It seemed I had prayed every prayer I knew how to pray and studied every scripture about my circumstances. And yet nothing seemed to change.

Maybe you know this season all too well. You’ve been hurting deeply for so long. You expected to handle this better, to be stronger when everything came crashing down. But it’s OK that you’re feeling weak and unsure. God wants you and me to let go of having to figure it all out and instead let Him do what He does best: save us.

In the Old Testament, the Israelites never expected their freedom journey away from slavery to take so long or be so hard. But God took them through the wilderness to teach them dependence on Him and ultimately bring them into the good land He had prepared for them.

In reference to that time, the Lord said: “The people who survive the sword will find favor in the wilderness; I will come to give rest to Israel.” The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. 
(Jeremiah 31:2-3).

God hears our cries for deliverance. He has grace for us in our wilderness.

As I walked through my own wilderness, I realized that all the things I thought were breaking me, God was using to make me more like Jesus. I was exhausted because I believed it was all up to me. But as I chose to trust God to hold my broken heart and I received His grace each day, He revealed the good plans He had all along.

Will we dare to remember the heart of God when we don’t understand why He’s not fixing our most hurtful situations? Will we trust that we’ll find grace in our wilderness? Will we believe that God has rest for our worn-out souls and that He will never stop loving us?

Regardless of how we feel, we can stand in confidence that God will continue to be faithful.

Lord, thank You for hearing my exhausted prayers when life feels like it’s just too much and I’m desperate for solutions. Help me to hold on to You in faith and to stand on the truth of who I know You to be: a good, faithful, and loving Father who always has my best in mind. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

- Ashley Morgan Jackson
Provided by "Proverbs 31 Ministries"

Meme: Lay it Down

Meditate on These Things

 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8

casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Paul’s final instruction in his prescription to anxiety is to meditate on the things of God. In other words, pick what you ponder. Picture your thoughts as airplanes in the sky above a busy airport. You are the air traffic controller of that airport. You get to decide which thoughts land and which ones fly away. Want to be happy tomorrow? Let the thoughts of happiness land today. Want to be miserable tomorrow? Let thoughts of guilt, worry, and fear land today.

Healing from anxiety requires healthy thinking. In truth, your challenge is not your challenge; your challenge is the way you think about your challenge. Likewise, your problem is not your problem; the way you look at the problem is your problem. Satan knows this, which is why he is always seeking to plant lies in your thinking. He wants to influence the way you perceive your struggles or uncertainties. But remember that he is not the master of your mind.

Furthermore, you have a power he can never defeat, for you have God on your side. When anxiety threatens to weigh down your heart, you can simply call on God. This slaps the handcuffs on the culprit and marches it before the One who has all authority. This denies worries and fears to have a platform to influence your mind. This guards your thoughts as you trust in God your Father.

Of course, saying this and doing this are two different things. You may want to resolve that today you will think only on things that are true, honorable, and right. . . even if it kills you. But who can really do this?

There is a simpler way: just make it your aim to cling to Christ. Abide in him. Go to him as your source of strength and the One your thoughts need to obey. Read God’s Word. Listen to sermons. Worship him. Set aside distractions and claim time for him. Understand that if anything good comes into your life, he will be the conduit.

The dominant duty of the disciple is to cling to Jesus. And when you cling to Jesus, you fill your mind with God’s truth. You disarm the enemy and keep anxiety at bay. You receive God’s truth. And that truth sets you free - free from fear, free from dread, and, yes, free from anxiety.

Having anxiety just means you are human. It does not mean you are emotionally underdeveloped, stupid, demon possessed, or a failure. It does not mean your parents failed you, or vice versa. And - this is important - it does not mean you are not a Christian. Yes, even Christians battle anxiety. Jesus himself battled anxiety in the Garden of Gethsemane. But he didn’t stay anxious. And neither should you.

A new day awaits you. A new season in which you will worry less and trust more. A season with reduced fear and enhanced faith. Can you imagine a life in which you are anxious for nothing?

God can. And, with his help, you will experience it.

- By Max Lucado