The Fears That Drive Our Desire For Control
We tell ourselves that if we can just anticipate every problem, prevent every disappointment and manage every outcome, we will finally feel safe. But the more we try to control, the more anxious we become.
Control is fear disguised as strength.
We may look capable, responsible, and prepared on the outside while carrying deep fears on the inside. The desire to control is often an attempt to protect ourselves from pain we do not believe we can handle.
But God does not ask us to carry the weight of every possible outcome. He invites us to trust Him with what we cannot control.
What Fears Are Driving Your Desire for Control?
The desire for control is usually connected to a deeper fear. What are you most afraid might happen if you stop managing every detail?
Consider these common fears: Rejection, abandonment, or not being loved.
Betrayal, mistrust, or manipulation.
Loss of people, possessions, identity, or peace.
Vulnerability and inadequacy.
Lack of control and helplessness.
Suffering, pain, and mortality.
Often, the deepest fear is not that something painful will happen. It’s that if something painful happens, we won’t be able to handle it.
That fear can cause us to overthink conversations, rehearse possible outcomes, avoid vulnerability, over function for others, or become consumed with making sure everything goes according to plan.
But our control is not a form of legitimate insurance against suffering. It’s a fake deal.
No amount of planning can guarantee that we will never be disappointed. No amount of preparation can prevent every loss. No amount of vigilance can ensure that the people we love will never hurt us.
The question is not whether we can control enough to avoid suffering. The question is whether we can trust God enough to meet us when suffering comes.
Jesus Wants You To Know...
Ask My Spirit to help you as you go each step of the way. Never neglect this glorious Source of strength within you.
And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper,
that He may abide with you forever - the Spirit of truth,
whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him;
but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
that He may abide with you forever - the Spirit of truth,
whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him;
but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
John 14:16-17 (NKJV)
"Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young
"Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young
Prayer: Let It Be Well...
Storms gather without warning. Grief knocks at the door. Disappointment settles in places I hoped would hold joy. Yet beneath the noise, beneath the ache, there is a deeper current carrying me.
Teach me to anchor my soul below the surface of circumstance. When waves crash at the top, remind me that Your peace runs deeper still. When emotions surge, steady me in what is eternal.
Help me declare wellness over my soul not as denial, but as defiance. Not because I feel strong, but because You are. Not because I understand, but because I trust.
When uncertainty looms and outcomes remain unclear, remind me that my security is not tied to results but to relationship. You hold what I cannot control. You see what I cannot foresee.
Let me separate the chaos around me from the calm within me. The surface may tremble, but the depths can remain still. You dwell in those depths.
Wellness of soul is not the absence of sorrow. It is the presence of You in sorrow. It is not freedom from storms, but confidence that the storm does not have the final word.
Give me grace to whisper it through tears if I must. To sing it when my voice shakes. To stand in the wind and still say, it is well.
Let it be well with my soul today. Let it be well when answers delay. Let it be well when plans unravel. Let it be well because You are near.
My soul is secure not in ease, not in certainty, but in You.
Amen
Provided by "The Good Neighborhood Project"