Am I Actually Praying About This or Just Worrying About It?

"𝐻𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒: '𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑?

𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑝𝑖𝑡?'”

Luke 6:39 (NIV)

Recently, I sat down to write some thoughts about relationships:

Relationships are amazing. Relationships are challenging. Relationships can be impossibly hard. Relationships can be incredibly beautiful. And because relationships are so very organic, they move like breath in and out of our lungs, expanding with deep connection one minute and in the next atrophying into complete misunderstanding.

Relationships are wonderful and full of love and frustration and wrought with angst and all the things we bring into every attempted embrace with another person. When those we love draw close to us, they draw close to our issues. And we come face to face with their issues as well.

So which is it? Are relationships full of bliss or disappointment?

This is where I landed that day as I journaled … It’s a fragile blend of both.

As we open up to each other, the deeper we connect, the more vulnerable we become. The more vulnerable we become, the more exposed the tender places inside of us become. This exposure is risky. When we dare to be so very known, we risk being so very hurt. When we dare to be so very hopeful, we risk being so very disappointed. When we dare to be so very giving, we risk being so very taken advantage of. And when we dare to unnaturally change into what someone else needs, we risk losing ourselves in the process.

To love and be loved is to be enveloped in the safest feeling I’ve ever known. To cause hurt and be hurt is to be crushed with the scariest feeling I’ve ever known. You and I both know this. In different ways with different people and to varying degrees, we know the multifaceted complications of love and heartbreak.

Maybe you’re living out this reality in a very raw way right now. Friend, I wish I was having coffee with you today to talk through all of this. Trust me when I say I know the delicate dance of balancing the beautiful with the frustrating, and every nuance in between, with the relationships we treasure.

And while I can’t solve all the problems you may be facing right now, there is one action item I want to encourage you to put into practice today … Determine to pray more words over a difficult relationship in your life than you speak about it.

Navigating Difficult People Without Losing Your Peace

Sometimes in life, we encounter people whose selfishness and unwillingness to accommodate others cause frustration, stress, and even conflict. The feelings of anger, hurt, or confusion that arise are real, and God sees them. He knows the weight of carrying the tension that others create.

The first step is to bring your emotions to Him. Psalm 34:17-18 reminds us, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Don’t bottle it up, prayer is your safe place to release your anger, your frustration, and your confusion. God can handle your raw emotions.

Next, examine your own heart. Difficult people can sometimes push our buttons, revealing areas in us that need patience, humility, or forgiveness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This doesn’t mean accepting abuse or walking on eggshells, it means protecting your heart while keeping Christ’s example of grace in view.

Set boundaries. Scripture doesn’t call us to endure constant harm or chaos, but to act wisely. Boundaries help protect your peace. Decide what behavior you will or won’t accept and stick to it. Sometimes that means limiting contact, sometimes it’s speaking up calmly and clearly when conflicts arise.

Finally, pray for them. It might feel impossible, but asking God to soften their heart or to work in their life can free you from carrying bitterness. Matthew 5:44 instructs, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Praying for them isn’t about condoning bad behavior, it’s about freeing yourself from the chains of anger and resentment.

Remember: God’s strength shows most clearly in our weakness. When someone in your life is difficult, lean on Him. He is your refuge, your guide, and your peace.

A Devotional Week on... "Navigating Difficult People Without Losing Your Peace."

Day 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings

• Scripture: Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

• Reflection: Be honest with God about your anger, frustration, or hurt. Naming your emotions is the first step to processing them.

• Practice: Write down how this person makes you feel. Pray over each feeling, giving it to God instead of letting it consume you.

Prayer:

“Lord, I am frustrated and hurt by this person. Help me to place my anger in Your hands and not let it control me. Amen.”

Day 2: Seek Wisdom Before Reacting

• Scripture: Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

• Reflection: Pause before responding. Anger often leads to words or actions you’ll regret.

• Practice: When you feel your blood boiling, take three deep breaths, pray silently, and ask God for a response that honors Him.

Prayer:

“God, guide my words and actions. Help me respond with wisdom instead of reacting in anger. Amen.”

Day 3: Set Healthy Boundaries

• Scripture: Galatians 6:5 – “Each one should carry their own load.”

• Reflection: Boundaries are not unkind, they protect your heart. You can love someone without tolerating harmful behavior.

• Practice: Identify one boundary you need to set this week, maybe it’s limiting time with them or avoiding conversations that escalate conflict.

Prayer:

“Lord, give me courage to protect my peace and the wisdom to know what boundaries are necessary. Amen.”

Day 4: Pray for Them

• Scripture: Matthew 5:44 – “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

• Reflection: Prayer is not about changing the other person, it’s about aligning your heart with God’s love.

• Practice: Pray for this person’s good, asking God to soften their heart and bless them, even if you don’t see change immediately.

Prayer:

“Father, bless this person and guide them to Your truth. Help me to forgive and not harbor bitterness. Amen.”

Day 5: Focus on What You Can Control

• Scripture: Philippians 4:6-7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

• Reflection: You can’t control their actions, only your response. Your peace comes from surrendering control to God.

•Practice: List the things you can control today, your attitude, words, and actions, and focus your energy there.

Prayer:

“God, help me to let go of what I cannot control and focus on living in Your peace. Amen.”

Day 6: Cultivate Compassion

• Scripture: Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

• Reflection: Difficult people often act out of pain or insecurity. Compassion doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it frees your heart from resentment.

• Practice: Try to see one positive thing in them today, even a small trait, and thank God for it in prayer.

Prayer:

“Lord, help me to see this person through Your eyes, and give me a heart of compassion instead of resentment. Amen.”

Day 7: Reflect and Release

• Scripture: Romans 12:19 – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”

• Reflection: Let go of anger, trusting God to handle justice and change. Holding on only hurts you.

• Practice: Write a short letter expressing everything you feel, then tear it up or burn it as a symbolic release. Pray over your freedom from bitterness.

Prayer: “God, I release my anger and frustration to You. Guard my heart and help me walk in peace, trusting You to handle every situation. Amen.” - Ellie Mont

Building Back Up In Beautiful Ways

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice
is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”

Matthew 7:24 (NIV)

Over the last couple of years, I’ve watched my 30-year-old home undergo several renovation projects. Renovations are not for the faint of heart. They cause a mess, the results are sometimes slow, and the process can feel never-ending.

I’m learning home renovations are so very similar to heart renovations - especially as I’ve walked through painful seasons and relationship hardships. I’ve jotted down some important lessons about healing that I’ve collected from my renovation projects, and I want to pass them along from my journal to yours:

1. Sometimes you have to tear things down before you can build back up in new and beautiful ways.

It’s impossible to see true transformation unless you remove the damaged and unhealthy portions first. Houses and people are alike in this way. Sometimes we have to work through what was so we can move on to what can be. This doesn’t always mean we have to remove people who don’t want to cooperate with healthier patterns for our relationship. But it may mean we create boundaries that clearly outline which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. We establish boundaries not to shove people away but rather to hold ourselves together.

2. Working on the foundation isn’t appealing or attractive, but it’s important.

Jesus spoke of this truth in Matthew 7:24-27:

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash”.

Building our lives on anything but God’s Truth will result in a shaky foundation - a detriment to any building project before it even begins. We must put in the necessary hard work of building our lives and our faith on the solid ground of Scripture, daily seeking God.

3. It’s good to stay humble enough to realize sometimes you need to get professionals involved.

Some things you can do on your own, and some things you can’t. Many small home repairs can be handled without professional help, but major renovations must be carefully handled by those with skill and experience. The same is true with the deeper emotional work in our lives. Doctors, Christian counselors, and therapists are trained to bring renewed health and restoration to both body and soul. My family and I have benefited greatly from professionals in seasons when it was necessary for healing, and we’re so grateful for that.

One of the hardest realities I’ve had to face is that it’s not always possible to fix broken relationships. Heart renovations, like home renovations, take diligence, patience, and a whole lot of prayer, and through the process, we have to accept that some things can be changed and others cannot. But with God as our Master Carpenter, we can live assured - we are a beautiful work in progress.

Track the progress you do see. Be patient with the setbacks. Celebrate even the small wins. Stacks of small wins turn into big wins. Eventually, you’ll be so glad you pressed through when you see the beauty that comes from all the hard work.

God, help me have patience with the renovations You’re doing in my heart. In the messy middle of the process, help me see the beauty that’s taking shape and the joy that can be found even here in this season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

- Lysa TerKeurst
Provided by "Proverbs 31 Ministries"

You Will Get Through This

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.”

Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

I’ve had anxiety over many hard things in my life. But some of the most difficult situations are the ones where someone I thought I could count on broke my trust and my heart.

You only have to be betrayed one time to start feeling angst and fear over the risks of relationships.

I remember being a young child on the playground at school, and a girl who I thought was my friend started making fun of me in front of the “cool kids.” I’ll never forget the feeling I had when they walked away together, all laughing, and she didn’t look back at me.

I think that was the first time I realized sometimes people just want what they want, and if they hurt me in the process of getting it, they can justify that because they feel it's worth more than their relationship with me.

Maybe you have a story of broken trust like this.

In the Bible, the Hebrew word for “trustworthy” is batah. When that word is directed toward God, it’s always in a positive sense. But when that same word refers to human relationships, it often has a negative connotation, carrying the sense that people will not always be trustworthy.

The trustworthy nature of God is certain. Sometimes the trustworthy nature of others is not. This doesn’t mean trust is impossible with others, but it does mean all relationships will need to be handled with grace, wisdom, forgiveness, healthy boundaries, and an understanding of how trust works.

If you’re walking through trust issues on any level today, consider what my friend Dr. Joel Muddamalle once said in a conversation about getting over heartbreak, hurt and disappointment: “One of the most powerful prepositions in the Bible is the word ‘through.’”

The Israelites had to go through the Red Sea to escape Egypt.
They had to go through the wilderness to the promised land.
Jesus had to go through the suffering of the cross for our redemption.

Isaiah 43:2 also says: “When you pass through the waters, [God] will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (emphases added).

Sometimes we have to walk through something even when we desperately want to get over it quickly. Going through gets us to the other side with a greater understanding that God has always been and will always be with us.

I know it’s tempting to isolate. The story I used to tell myself was that relationships were just a recipe for eventual pain, and I didn’t want to experience that pain again; therefore, the risks of trusting others were too high. If you were to share similar concerns with me today over coffee, I would listen with great understanding and zero judgment. Working through broken trust is hard. But, friend, it is possible to trust God even when we have doubts about what He’s doing.

And I know you will make it to the other side. You didn’t choose what happened when others broke your trust. But you do get to choose how you move forward. You will heal. You will get through this. And you won’t be alone for a single part of it.

Heavenly Father, I give You my anxieties, fears and doubts related to trust. I don’t have to feel ashamed that I have trust issues. I also don’t have to move forward more quickly than I’m ready to. But at the same time, I’m not going to make excuses for not healing. I’m taking one step at a time, moving forward with You on this journey of growing in trust. Give me the courage, wisdom and hope I need. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

- Lysa TerKeurst
Provided by "Proverbs 31 Ministries"

Application of God's Word: John 17:18

Verse: John 17:18
As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.

Application:
Jesus didn't ask God to take believers out of the world but instead to use them in the world. Because Jesus sends us into the world, we should not try to escape from the world, nor should we avoid all relationships with non-Christians. We are called to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16), and we are to do the work that God sent us to do.

Jesus is the model for every believer. He was in the world, but He was not of the world. He was sent… into the world on a mission by His Father. So, believers are sent… into the world on a mission by the Son, to make the Father known. Inasmuch as Jesus' prayer for the disciples was not limited to the immediate apostles, this passage is similar to the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). Each Christian should view himself as a missionary whose task is to communicate God's truth to others.

The Gift of Being Seen and Known by God

“She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her:

‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said,

‘I have now seen the One who sees me.'”

Genesis 16:13

I called my closest friend with joyful expectation. Sunday afternoon was our time to spend together. However, she told me she had promised another friend she’d go to the cinema, and we couldn’t meet. She didn’t invite me to join, nor did she offer me another time to talk or meet.

I felt the rejection hardening my stomach with its icy sting.

Have you felt this sting too? Have you struggled with rejection from your family, friends or co-workers?

Rejection is truly one of the most painful human experiences. It cuts to the core of our being and projects powerful and heart-shattering messages like:

You are not enough.
Your work is not good enough.
You are not loved.
You don't deserve it.
You don't belong.
You are worthless.
You will never measure up.

These harmful messages can damage our identity and relationships if we believe and internalize them.

But God’s Word has a different message. One of my favorite passages in the Old Testament is the story of Hagar - an abused and rejected woman who experienced God's love and care.

Genesis 16 tells us Hagar was the slave of Sarah, Abraham’s wife, who was barren and used Hagar as a surrogate mother. This changed the dynamic in the family, and Sarah began to mistreat Hagar. Rejected and despised, Hagar fled to the desert.

There, God sent an angel with a personal message for her. God Himself manifested His presence with Hagar in a powerful way: He came to this woman and brought encouragement, comfort, vision for the future, and a magnificent promise to bless her family.

Hagar gleaned hope from the angel’s words about God’s love and acceptance of her, and she trusted the message. She heard God saying:

I see you.
You are valuable to Me.
I love you.
I accept you.
I have a plan for you.
I will take care of you.
I will not abandon or reject you.

Hagar gave a name to the Lord right then and there: “‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me’” (Genesis 16:13).

Imagine this for a moment: God sees, understands and loves every part of your being. He sees your past, present and future. God sees the hurt and even the invisible wounds in your heart. He sees the light and the darkness.

And He stays; He does not reject. He sees your true self, and all parts of your story come together as His plan unfolds.

May we accept this gift of being seen and known by God, letting Him heal our wounded hearts as only He can.

Dear Lord, rejection is hard. I sometimes struggle with lies bombarding my mind, and I doubt my worth as a person. Let me experience Your unconditional love and acceptance in a fresh way. Heal my wounds, and impart Your blessings to me. I want to see the One who sees me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

- Hadassah Treu

Provided by "Proverbs 31 Ministries"